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(A)makes people more dependent
SCORE OF 5
E的those指代对象不明确,同时from在此处也很奇怪。
Whatever they say, regardless how convincing, will be overpowered by their actions, the true indication of their attitudes.
这些作文有的使用一个例子,有的使用两个甚至更多的例子。
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倘若能体现出对美国历史人文知识的了解,那就是锦上添花了。
本文最大的特点就是landmark用得非常的清晰。也就是说,在每一段的开头都有明确的topic sentence 进行预告我这段将会讲什么内容。在每段结束时,能尽量再次用不同的语言进行归纳总结。
接下来可以继续发挥下,大致写成Example A中的某人或某事没有成功,但他们得到了什么样的教训,从而为什么样的成功打下了基础等等。
本文的题眼在于:“是motivation重要还是talent重要”?作者的态度是“To truly succeed, you need to have at least as much motivation as talent”。
从提问中“Do you agree or disagree that people really want others to give them their honest opinion?”,我们不难发现有一个斜体的“really”。
(B)are no different for girls than being boys
To prepare for the final examination,students crowded the classroom.[√]
People often complain that our generation is politically apathetic. Just 25 years ago, it was common for students to join in strikes and antiwar protests, but nowadays, the stereotype goes, young people are more likely to be found watching MTV or shopping at the mall. I certainly was no different. Appallingly ignorant of current events, I never read a paper or watched the news, but I knew all about the personal lives of popular TV and movie stars. Then something happened to change my outlook forever.
4分作文: Some people would say that something that is not successful does not have any value. I would have to disagree with this statement. Sometimes, things that are not successful still have some value. For example, the Columbia space shuttle and the Vietnam War were not successful, but they had value. Thus, it is true that something not successful can still have value. For instance, the Columbia disaster. Columbia was destroyed in an accident when the shuttle tried to re-enter the atmosphere. This accident was a horrible failure and many people were very upset by it. The value, though, comes from the new way in which we now look at things. Because of Columbia, the space program now know what is wrong. Hopefully, they will change it. Vietnam is also an example of something not successful. We went to Vietnam in an attempt to get rid of communists. Thewar went on for a while, but we were not able to win. Many soldiers were killed and the public were very angry about the whole thing. Soon there were many protests across the country and college students especially became active against the war. By the time the war was ended the people were very upset with their country. These two examples show that something not successful can still have value. As we have seen, both Columbia and the Vietnam War were not successful. Yet, we got something of value out of them. 【点评】 开始段落把中心观点讲出来了,并且也有thesis statement。
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